


Condor Pants of the Whale

by helens78



Category: Leverage, World of Warcraft
Genre: Character of Color, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-08
Updated: 2009-04-08
Packaged: 2017-10-05 07:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helens78/pseuds/helens78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec maybe spends a little too much time playing World of Warcraft, but for some reason Eliot's not complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Condor Pants of the Whale

**Author's Note:**

> (A quick note about formatting: This story originally went up with game-specific coloring. See [the version on my website](http://helensfic.net/fpf/condorpantsofthewhale.html) for a slightly more authentic game experience.)
> 
> You might be thinking to yourself: _What the..._
> 
> Well, someone on [comment_fic](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com) had a prompt one morning: [Leverage, Hardison/author's choice, level 80 Mage](http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/30884.html?thread=5516964&style=mine#t5516964). And since I really do like Alec/Eliot... and I'm an obsessive WoW player who _loved_ Alec's scene about WoW (even though I'm Alliance, not Horde)... well, you know. I couldn't resist.
> 
> I'm not entirely sure whether this will work for someone who isn't familiar with WoW. After four years' immersion in the game, I really don't have the kind of distance to know that sort of thing. However, be assured that "Poketpiker" was not just a real person, he was a real person _in my husband's raid_ at one point (when he and I were raiding with different raids -- thankfully, now we're both in the same raid. He's DPS, I'm heal-squad.).
> 
> If this makes you think _oh my God, I need more adventures of Alec and Eliot in WoW_, you just let me know. ^_^
> 
> **A note about timing:** WoW aficionados will recognize the point at which this story was written pretty quickly, but this was in the early days of _Wrath of the Lich King_, shortly after the Naxxramas raid opened. Things that have changed in the game since then: better dungeons (as of this posting, the first wing of Icecrown Citadel is the only one open), the LFD system opened (Eliot would no longer be suffering with green pants!), and Arcanist Braedin no longer spams /yell with notices about Wintergrasp (apologies, btw, to the Hordies, for my Alliance-centric view -- it hadn't occurred to me that Horde players might not get spammed by this guy). I still feel for Alec and his inability to raid too often, though. His raid really must think his cats are crazy.

Eliot's been acting like a crazy man these last few weeks. He got himself a computer, for one thing--and it's a nice one, a 17" laptop from Alienware--and he made Alec hook it up to his network (like Alec wasn't gonna firewall all the good stuff, uh-_uh_) and he does this thing where if Alec walks in while Eliot's doing something, Eliot slams the laptop screen closed, grins, and blinks innocently up at him. And if Alec asks questions, well--the thing is, Eliot's not staying here for the superfast internet connection. By the time they're through rolling around in bed, Alec's usually forgotten all about whatever it is Eliot's been doing on the laptop.

He could boot it up and bust through Eliot's password in a matter of seconds--if you have physical access to a machine, _nobody_ can keep you out--but he doesn't. It's a matter of trust, of faith, and even if Eliot ends up cursing up a storm some days and jumping up or doing chair dances other days, Alec's decided to leave it the hell alone. At least for now.

The great thing is, Eliot's been leaving Alec alone on raid nights. It's not like Alec gets to raid every week; their jobs take them out of town all the damn time, and being "on call" and being in a raid are not all _that_ compatible. Nobody wants to bring the shadow priest who has to stop melting faces in order to hack through a security system from afar, and "gotta go, my cat's on fire" only works so many times before people start asking "how many cats do you HAVE?" and "what are you DOING to those cats?" Having a boyfriend on top of all that, well, raiding was just a figment of Alec's imagination. Nowadays, though, Eliot keeps to himself on raid nights, and Alec's got his full set of Valorous Faith, complete with a few pieces of off-spec healing gear. If that punk-ass bitch Kel'Thuzad would drop the goddamn Torch of Holy Fire, Alec would be _set_.

At the tail end of Wednesday's raid, Eliot comes into Alec's gaming room and stretches out on the couch with his laptop. Alec raises his eyebrows, but they've got Sarth+3 going on, and if he looks away too long he's gonna get creamed by a lava wave or eaten by the adds, so he ignores Eliot for the time being. After the third wipe, though, somebody sends him a private message:

[Flamthrowr] whispers: what's up

Alec rolls his eyes.

[Vandarr] whispers: Gee, I don't know. Did you /who me?

[Flamthrowr] whispers: oh right obsidian sanctum

[Flamthrowr] whispers: guess this is your sarth plus three night, right?

[Vandarr] whispers: Don't make me /ignore you, fool.

[Flamthrowr] whispers: no no no

[Flamthrowr] whispers: just let me know when you're done

[Flamthrowr] whispers: got a surprise fro you

[Flamthrowr] whispers: *for

They're pulling again, so Alec lets it go. This time around, they beat the damn dragons--and when the roll for the Twilight Drake happens, Alec's crappy 79 beats out the other _twenty_ people rolling for it. Alec can't help it; he cheers and bangs his fists on the desk, cackling like a madman. "God_damn_, it's about time!"

[Flamthrowr] whispers: grats!

Alec stares at the screen.

[Vandarr] whispers: Are you in a guild with one of the TMA raiders or something?

He does a quick /who on Flamthrowr. He's not in a guild at all. Weird.

[Flamthrowr] whispers: no man, I don't know what I'm congratulating you for, you just sound happy

This time Alec stares over at Eliot. "Hey."

Eliot looks over at him, eyes wide. "Yeah?"

"You--" Alec does another /who on Flamthrowr. L80 Blood Elf Mage. Dalaran. "Okayyyy..."

"What's up? You do something good over there?"

Alec gives Eliot the Raised Eyebrow Of Don't Mess With Me. "Park. Your silly anime butt. In Dalaran. And we are gonna have a little chat."

Eliot gives Alec one of his own expressions, the HaHaHaHa I Got You, Didn't I? look, and settles down with his laptop. As soon as the raid's over, Alec takes a portal back to Dalaran and goes looking for Flamthrowr.

Flamthrowr is standing on a bench in the center of Dalaran, _dancing_. At least he's got clothes on--such as they are. Dear God in Heaven, the elf's wearing _green gear_. Alec groans out loud.

[Vandarr] whispers: Dude, we are getting you better gear.

[Flamthrowr] whispers: what? it matches   
[Flamthrowr] whispers: it has spellpower

[Vandarr] whispers: YOU ARE WEARING A [CRYSTALSONG ROBE OF SPELLPOWER] AND [CONDOR PANTS OF THE WHALE]

[Flamthrowr] yells: WHY ARE YOU YELLING

Alec chokes on his diet Coke and stands up. "No no no no, don't do that."

"Do what?" Eliot looks as innocent as a man can look while he's trying not to crack the hell up.

"Don't ever, _ever_ /yell in a public place. It's rude."

"Why not? Arcanist Braedin or whoever the hell does it all the time."

Arcanist Braedin yells: Reinforcements are needed on the Wintergrasp battlefield! I have opened a portal for quick travel to the battle at The Silver Enclave!

Vandarr looks at Flamthrowr and covers his face with his palm.

"See?"

"Let's just get you out of those horrible clothes and we'll go from there, okay? Also, I am so paying for a name change."

"What's wrong with Flamethrower?"

"Is your 'e' key broken?"

"No, but spelled right, it was taken."

"Do you wanna be known for the rest of your days as 'flamthrowr'? I knew this dude who left out the Cs in 'pocketpicker'. We called him Poketpiker until he left the game in disgrace."

"Aren't you the least bit impressed? I have a level 80 mage! We can do shit together!"

"I will be impressed when you can cover your ass with something other than Condor Pants of the Whale. C'mon."

_-end-_


End file.
